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“Things I’m Thinking of Giving the IRS Instead of Money”

Two wild stallions. Or domesticated. Whichever I can find first.

A transexual rooster.

With army tags.

And one good eye.

A hearty piece of honeycomb straight from our beehives which will last forever. It truly will, honey is the only food that never goes bad. Now can you really say that about money?

Honey is better than money.

Oh, I crack myself up.

Badly baked scones. Kind of reminiscent of hard tack… if you’re the sailor type you might like them.

I think the IRS is a diverse crowd, I want to offer something for everyone.

French fish. Straight from the fisherman’s co-op in Provence.

Also known simply as: dead fish.

But I think “French fish” has a more evocative ring to it, don’t you think?

Double yolked eggs. Two for the price of one.

If only I could get my filing fees to work that way…

Oops, how did that get in there?

Turkey feet.

Very good for stock and aspic making.

Like I said, I want to entice everyone at the IRS.

Or an afternoon in a psychedelic coffee shop in Oakland, California.

Your life will never be the same.

If none of these appeal to you dear IRS people, then I’ll do your laundry for a week.

(But not your dishes. I hate doing dishes.)

Kindly get back to me before April 15th.

Your Friend,

Georgia

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Comments

  1. Highly entertaining! I couldn't help stopping by after hearing Maggie Battista gush about you. I'm making the switch to freelancing full time later this year and am sadly preparing for going from "Yay tax time! I love getting a big fat refund back from the government." to "What are you taking half my money? I don't remember doing anything to you??"… and of course it helps that food writers have an eerily high audit rate.

    • Georgia says:

      Aw, Maggie is great. And freelancing is lovely except for April 15th : ) So it's worth it in the end I'd say!

  2. I have a soft spot for hard tack. Well, hard scones; I've never actually eaten hard tack although I spent 11 years in the Navy. Nothing better than a good day-old or even a two-day-old biscuit. A dense, chewy, mildly deformed and lightly burned scone would hit the spot right now. Tell ya what, Georgia: If the IRS actually passes you up on your offer of badly baked scones, I will trade you one for the first orange off my tree this season!

  3. Michael Shapiro says:

    I really like your blog. It's funny and creative and always interesting. Your trans-sexual Rooster with army tags is far too valuable to send to the IRS. I never knew that honey kept forever!

    • Georgia says:

      Thanks Michael for reading : ) You're right, maybe I'll keep Lorenzo. And Greg, I'll trade you scones for oranges any day.

  4. June Ohm says:

    my son suggested I look you up — so glad he did. I agree totally with your thoughts on food and your blog is great fun. BTW, Honey not only keeps forever, it is extremely good for you.