And I’m making a list.
And checking it twice.
Because I like lists.
And I’m naughty and nice.
~ me, circa 2010 ©
1. Always sit in shady corners. It puts you in a good place on the spectrum of personal mystery. A rating of 9.5.
2. Lean in real slow and always carry a toothpick.
3. Wear a bedazzled belt. And pump your fist in the air when a football team named the Cowboys does something good.
5. If you don’t have a horse, this is your next best option.
6. Always be in the presence of European taxidermy. And whenever possible, an American flag.
8. Have a weathered hat and crack a sly smile.
9. Then be suddenly very serious and stare into the nothingness of the universe.
10. Grow a mustache that curves downward. No higher than your lower lip, and lower if possible
11. Eat chicken wings whenever possible.
What do you mean that’s not a criteria?
I think it’s important to add that to the list just in case.
As a footnote.
12. Dark shades help with ones position on the spectrum of mysterious.
13. Leave your boots behind from time to time. To leave your mark. It’s the equivalent of peeing on a tree trunk.
14. Your dark mysterious shades too. Leave them behind.
15. Point. So as to command your presence.
16. Line your bikes up neatly so your mama don’t yell.