These are hell’s chicken wings.

My darling skillet produced the hottest bits of food I’ve eaten in quite some time.

My mouth still hurts.

Surgeon Generals Warning: They will make you have psychedelic dreams. For example, after I ate these chicken wings I dreamt three different short stories that went like this:

1. My brother committed a murder in my childhood home and I had to cover it up with Photoshop.

2. I went to my grade school reunion and one of my former classmates named LaLita was reading the manuscript for my book and editing it. This made me very anxious.

3. An art gallery owner called me because he was having trouble navigating the website of a friend’s art portfolio. So I said I would get right back to him with the answers because I was on the way to see said friend who was in the hospital after getting his wisdom teeth removed. But when I got to the hospital it was so big, it just kept going and going, like the never ending mall… there was a MacDonald’s and everything. I panicked, I wasn’t going to be able to get back to the gallery owner in a few minutes. Somehow I ended up outside and my mother happened to drive by and picked me up at a traffic light, made a right hand turn and dropped me off at the correct hospital ward. There I was able to use my friend’s blackberry, which he happened to have handy in the hospital bed, and email the gallery owner. Phew.

What does it all mean??!

This is what your future could hold if you eat hell’s chicken wings before bed. Consider yourself warned. Because that’s what I’m here for.


Update: March 24, 2010

By popular request… here is the recipe for ya. I can’t promise that it’s perfect because the pain also caused some memory loss. That night is very hazy, okay?

“Hell’s Chicken Wings”

Prep Time3 mins
Cook Time35 mins
Total Time40 mins
Servings: 2 servings


  • 8 chicken drummets
  • Salt and pepper to taste
  • 4 tablespoons grape seed or vegetable oil
  • 1/2 can chipotle peppers in adobo sauce chopped
  • 2 tablespoons Worcestershire sauce
  • 4 tablespoons molasses


  • Preheat the oven to 350 degrees F.
  • Heat the oil in a skillet on high heat. Add the drummets and fry them until the skins are well browned on all sides. Add salt and pepper.
  • Add the remaining ingredients and mix well. Turn the temperature to low and simmer for 5 minutes. Transfer the skillet to the oven and let the flavors marry. The liquid will reduce and the chicken will be tender, about 15-20 minutes.
  • Hold on to your seat!