I thought I’d usher in a new month by making you some muffins.

I’ve never used a mix before, but I was in the store yesterday and this bag struck me.

For several reasons.

First, it is called a Killer mix.

Second, there is a woman with nice red high heels on squished by a killer piece of chocolate cake on the package. And I had to know more.

Third, as you know, after yesterday my name is now Martha. So they were literally calling my name.

The woman even greets you on the back of the package with a nice blue dress and apron on, in her red heels… presumably right before she is squished.

I ran out of butter so I used leaf lard, my new best friend as you know.

I decided that if these killer muffins tasted a tad like pork was that really a bad thing? Chocolate and bacon tarts are all the rage, haven’t you heard?

A little vanilla and egg yolk would take off the porky edge anyway I thought.

I have a tendency to lift my exceptionally small pinkie spontaneously sometimes. Sorry.

Mix in the mix…

Whisk in the fat…

Whisk, mix, mix, whisk…

I wondered if they would be killer…

Then I thought about putting some red high heels on. Then I realized I didn’t have any.

So I put on red cowboy boots instead and continued pouring in the batter.

And all was right with the world.

Let’s take a look… hmm… moist… fluffy… perhaps a bit killer…

Oh, did I mention I put a cream filling in them?





* A special thank you to Grandma P. for telling me all about the cotton muffins her mother Ada used to make for April Fools Day. See? The Puritans know how to have fun. They really do.

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