I’ve decided that I might be insane. For example, I drove up to Dallas last night after attending a very important pumpkin carving party where I ate ribs and chicken legs like a cave woman.

I couldn’t tell how fast I was going because for some reason the speedometer on my car changed to kilometers so basically I feel like a race car driver at all times now. 125 baby!

When I arrived to my hotel, there was a very large turkey waiting for me in my room.

It was actually cooked.

By Whole Foods.

So at 1 a.m., I slipped under the covers of my very lumpy bed and dozed off to the smell of a 20 pound cooked turkey.

I woke up every hour too, because I kept thinking I was oversleeping even though it was clearly pitch black out.

Are you wondering how this transpired?

So am I.

I’ve been doing the morning show circuit a bit lately, cooking up various recipes.

One time, I walked in at 5 a.m. to this one station where it was pitch black except for a weather woman putting on her makeup at her weather station. So next time you see someone reporting the weather very earnestly think about how they were probably just applying mascara in a large glowing magnifying mirror a few minutes earlier.

But on these shows I cook things. Like turkeys and jam and pizza.

Sometimes I prep ahead of time. One time, the prep kitchen at Whole Foods let me prep things there.

Also, here is my tip of the day: If you’re in a rush or need something prepped for you and delivered for you ahead of time, like a 20 pound turkey at 1 a.m. in Dallas, Texas…for example… Whole Foods really is a great resource. I imagine they would be especially useful during the holidays if you need them to shop for you and have the groceries ready to just dip in and pick up from the desk.

Or if you need to slice a turkey for all the lovely folks in Dallas for a Thanksgiving special. Just a handy tip of the day my friends.

Here is my jam from a recent recipe on a recent show!

“Fig Jam”

Prep Time10 mins
Cook Time25 mins
Total Time35 mins
Servings: 6 1/2-pint jars


  • 4 pounds fresh figs washed, stemmed and cut into ½ inch pieces
  • Zest and juice of 2 lemons
  • 8 sprigs fresh thyme leaves picked
  • ½ teaspoon sea salt
  • 1 cup water
  • ½ cup honey


  • Place the the fig pieces with the lemon juice, zest, thyme, sea salt, and water in a large, nonreactive saucepan over medium-high heat and bring to a boil.
  • Add the honey and simmer the figs over moderate heat, stirring occasionally, until the fruit is soft and the liquid runs off the side of a spoon in thick, heavy drops, about 20 minutes.
  • Ladle the jam into six 1/2-pint jars, leaving 1/4 inch of space at the top. Close the jars and let cool to room temperature. Store the jam in the refrigerator for up to 3 months or process the jars in a boiling water bath for 10 minutes.
  • Variations: Substitute white port, Grand Marnier or your other favorite liqueur for the water. Substitute rosemary for the thyme. Substitute high quality white or red balsamic for the lemon juice.